Praying for me

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Hi everyone I hit a brick wall as far as pain goes and am in a whole new level of pain. It is really getting hard for me to walk a lot, I am hurting all over from fibromyalisa and degeneration and osteoarthritis. I have so much to do around here.  I just need something to give me some relief of some of the pain. The problem is my Dr. Only gives me tramadol for pain and it isn’t helping. I feel worse if I stay in bed and cleaning being active is supposed to help. Only now the pain fro  even walking kills my feet. So pray I find a solution to these harsher pains.

Bad hip days

Well I’ve got myself in a fine mess!  I have a bad hip and have done something to aggravate it. I have been using my arms to get up and now with fibromyalisa my arms are killing me too.  If anyone has some home cures I would love to hear because Tramadol isn’t touching the pain.  Other than that I’ve had a pretty good day, I hope you don’t forget about you dear ole Dads tomorrow.  I had a wonderful dad that I’ll always love. Thankful to have had him as a Dad.

Happy New Year!

I am bringing in the New Year with my son and his wife and my grandkiddos. For dinner we had snacks and finger foods and the kids loved it. Then we had fondue of chocolate with all kinds of fruit and pound cake. Yum! Every hour from 6-12 the kids get to pop a gold balloon with a saying in it to count down the time. They are having a blast. We are watching the Matt Damien movie Martian right now and it’s pretty good.  All is calm and all is bright on the home front right now and I’m feeling blessed! I wish you all the Happiest of New Years. And please be safe out there tonight!

Merry Christmas

 

Merry Christmas to all my friends who stop by here. I am wishing you all a blessed Christmas and hope you celebrate the real reason for Christmas, the birth of our Saviour. Enjoy your families and the great food and spread the Love of Jesus all around. May you all have a wonderful 2017, Happy New Year too!

Suicide Isn’t Always Painless

Thank you Laurel for this important post!

My Journey Into Darkness/The Story Of A Life Wasted With A Lying, Cheating, Disease-Giving, Narcissistic Husband

This is the time of year when the suicide rate goes up.  It’s the time of year when depression deepens and for some, becomes intolerable.  Pay attention.

When somebody has lost their lust for life and has withdrawn, there is a reason.  Depression is not a myth and the subsequent mental state is not “a choice.”

It’s a fact that when somebody is depressed, often they attempt or certainly entertain the idea of suicide.  It’s also a fact that as these people are getting “treatment” and seem to be on the upswing, their odds of successfully committing suicide increase exponentially.

Some of us are going to be alone this year.  Some of us are used to being alone.  Some of us were alone for years, surrounded by people who made us feel alone.  But for some of us, being alone this year will be a “first.”

It doesn’t take much effort to let somebody know you…

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Brotherly Love

Y yMown brother and I had not been close for many years until recently. That was due to him being a preacher in other states and a missionary in Mexico. So now he is back in Texas but not living in Houston where I live. But he has come to Houston twice recently and I have and we have gotten closer from the reasons for the visits. The first visit was to preach a funeral for an old highschool friend. That is when he came to me and admitted how she reminded him of me. She had written a book about her life as the outcast of the family. And I got some closure I badly needed from my past. Then recently he came back for a highschool reunion. And I ended up helping him. It all began  many years ago when he was leaving to go ask his girlfriend to marry him. And mom got in his car and told him, that his girlfriend  had had told her she did not want to be a preachers wife and did not love him like that. Well my brother was broken hearted, ring in hand as mom told him she did not want to see or hear from him again. So eventually he married another without getting moms blessing first. Well at the reunion he saw his old girlfriend and they had the chance to talk!!! And both were dumbfounded to realize that mom was lying to my brother. His sweet girlfriend thought he had found someone new at the seminary and she was heartbroken that he dropped her without a word. When he came over to tell me this I told him that mom loved him so much I felt she wanted him to be like her brother had been to their mom. This Uncle whom my brother was named after had lived with their mom and remained at home taking care of her until she died. He didn’t get married until his late fifties and was to old for kids of his own . I think he felt a little part of the craziness in our home from the over love to him as the golden child. And for me the scapegoat child.I have always loved my brother and am so happy to have him close again. This is not a put down of our mother as I have written what a tragic life she had, but to try and make sense of our roles in her life.

Dear Boss, I don’t want a “Hike”

So perfectly said!

world4womencom

Hi Everyone,

This is for everyone who has a boss, who has an appraisal system and awaits a hike and gets it too but only to leave more astonishment behind.

Dear Boss,

I am writing to let you know how much I respect you.  You are the reason behind my fitness.  You may be amused to know and want to know how.  Simple, because you make sure my chase for my dreams never ends which means more you run more you loose and stay fit!  And I am loosing a lot!  You are the reason behind my peaceful life.  You might be wondering how.  Because by the time I reach home television starts showcasing tele-shopping products and at that hour there would be no one around to talk. Less talks, lesser arguments, least number of fights.  Family life is “piece”ful.  Thank you again.  You are the reason behind my popularity on…

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It’s been too long

It has been too long since I last posted, but a lot has happened. I have been recovering since! I had posted so happy that I had applied to an apartment I could move to in 6-12 months. I had not told my son yet because I thought that is what he wanted when he said I needed to move sooner than later. I thought I was doing what he wanted and I had plenty of time to tell him. Well, 2 weeks after application they called my son not me that they had an opening!!! The shit hit the fan, he was furious I was doing this behind his back. Of course I couldn’t afford to move until I finished paying off my car and get more from Social Security. But he is saying if you don’t want to be here get out now a d I never want to see you again. I’m in shock saying but you told me to leave sooner than later and that is what I was doing! He would not listen and was saying so many hurtful things to me and as I cried he was he was just so cold to me. I felt so alone and distraught and so depressed that this is what my life had become. Finally he said what he told me was if I ever questioned how they disciplined their kids I would have to leave sooner rather than later. I thought What? That wasn’t the way it went but I just wanted his anger to stop, I begged to stay in his life and he told me I would have to call and cancel the apartment. Which I did the next day and was sad to be canceling instead of telling them I needed to wait 6 months to move in. I feel if I move I’ll lose my son, he already has done that to my other son, his brother. I think now they want me here to clean, wash and keep my grandchildren, but they want me to feel the unease of walking on egg shells and I have and still get in trouble. As far as the grandson I defended that day, she has not gotten that enraged with him since, I’m so thankful for that. And he has not gotten in trouble since he was finally put on new meds. I wish they would have thought about that before 2 months of trauma he went through. I am Thankful things have gotten better here lately and I’m not as depressed and life has settled back down around here. Thanks for letting me get all these feelings out that have been held in so long. It’s going to get better!!!!