Dear Boss, I don’t want a “Hike”

So perfectly said!

world4womencom

Hi Everyone,

This is for everyone who has a boss, who has an appraisal system and awaits a hike and gets it too but only to leave more astonishment behind.

Dear Boss,

I am writing to let you know how much I respect you.  You are the reason behind my fitness.  You may be amused to know and want to know how.  Simple, because you make sure my chase for my dreams never ends which means more you run more you loose and stay fit!  And I am loosing a lot!  You are the reason behind my peaceful life.  You might be wondering how.  Because by the time I reach home television starts showcasing tele-shopping products and at that hour there would be no one around to talk. Less talks, lesser arguments, least number of fights.  Family life is “piece”ful.  Thank you again.  You are the reason behind my popularity on…

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It’s been too long

It has been too long since I last posted, but a lot has happened. I have been recovering since! I had posted so happy that I had applied to an apartment I could move to in 6-12 months. I had not told my son yet because I thought that is what he wanted when he said I needed to move sooner than later. I thought I was doing what he wanted and I had plenty of time to tell him. Well, 2 weeks after application they called my son not me that they had an opening!!! The shit hit the fan, he was furious I was doing this behind his back. Of course I couldn’t afford to move until I finished paying off my car and get more from Social Security. But he is saying if you don’t want to be here get out now a d I never want to see you again. I’m in shock saying but you told me to leave sooner than later and that is what I was doing! He would not listen and was saying so many hurtful things to me and as I cried he was he was just so cold to me. I felt so alone and distraught and so depressed that this is what my life had become. Finally he said what he told me was if I ever questioned how they disciplined their kids I would have to leave sooner rather than later. I thought What? That wasn’t the way it went but I just wanted his anger to stop, I begged to stay in his life and he told me I would have to call and cancel the apartment. Which I did the next day and was sad to be canceling instead of telling them I needed to wait 6 months to move in. I feel if I move I’ll lose my son, he already has done that to my other son, his brother. I think now they want me here to clean, wash and keep my grandchildren, but they want me to feel the unease of walking on egg shells and I have and still get in trouble. As far as the grandson I defended that day, she has not gotten that enraged with him since, I’m so thankful for that. And he has not gotten in trouble since he was finally put on new meds. I wish they would have thought about that before 2 months of trauma he went through. I am Thankful things have gotten better here lately and I’m not as depressed and life has settled back down around here. Thanks for letting me get all these feelings out that have been held in so long. It’s going to get better!!!!

He’s Free at Last

It was a wonderful weekend for my grandson!!!  After being in house arrest for 5 weeks, he finally is out of trouble. Not before have every toy in his room thrown away and and spending everyday in his room with books and a deck of cards, that was his existence. No family time no outside or TV. It is true he kept getting in trouble at school for his ADHD problems. But all the whippings, belittling, threats didn’t help. But thank you God I prayed every day for his peace of mind and finally they took him back to his therapist. And due to growing over the summer and gaining weight, they changed and upped his meds!!! And guess what he had a great week at school last week. Isn’t that amazing, I’m sorry for sounding ugly but my grandson has such a sweet heart and is a good little boy he just has bad impulse control without enough meds. I wish my son and his wife understood that, they think they beat sense into him. But praise the Lord this weekend he got to go with his family out to eat and Sunday my son took him fishing which he loves. Then my son went bicycle riding with him, just the two of them, and he got to play outside. He was so happy, I could finally relax and must breathe. I taught him how to play solitaire and tried to be there for him during the times of his troubles but I wasn’t allowed to interact that much with him. So we are both happy for his new found freedom. Thank you God for hearing my pleas!  And I also took in the paperwork to be able to get an apartment in public housing. So hopefully in the next 6 months or year I will move out like my son asked me to. I am blessed to have found a place to take me so soon. I have never liked to be where I’m not wanted, but I’m learning to keep my thoughts to myself about my grandson. And that must be the lesson I needed to learn. I am content with my circumstances because I am thankful all the more for what I do have. I’m stronger through the storms because I have drawn closer to the Lord.

An open letter to all airlines who serve passengers with invisible illnesses

Feeling invisible by the airlines who do not help when you desperately need some help physically. What happened to FLY the Friendly Sky’s?

The Disclosed

I have an invisible illness. That means that I, along with thousands of others, suffer in silence most of the time.

It means that able-bodied privilege is not only all around me but that I’m hyper aware of it as most of the world assumes I am just like them. I’ve learned to live with my invisible illness and work with it but recently I had an experience that was a slap in the face to myself and anyone who constantly hears ‘But you don’t look sick!’

I am a 3-time cancer survivor facing heart failure and implanted with a Left-Ventricular-Assist-Device or LVAD to help circulate my blood. An artificial heart to put it in simple terms. And I’m relatively young at 35. Piercings, pink hair, pink cheeks, and a pretty smile so I don’t expect people to automatically know how ill I am.

I make efforts to not look…

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DV Awareness Day #10: The Cycle of Abuse Like Moving Lines in the Sand

So very true!!!

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

Image result for drawing the line in the sand against abuse

As we bring awareness to domestic violence this month, remember that even Elijah cried out to the Lord and declared, “It is enough. O Lord!”

The cycle of abuse…
is like moving lines in the sand
as it begins a little at at time…
but too many just don’t understand.
For we “draw lines in the sand”
but then move them again and again…
as the abuses increase…
and the cycle of abuse begins.
For it starts with the “honeymoon”
where the behavior seems to be great…
then our line gets crossed…
but they apologize for their “mistake”.

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An awesome day!!!

Today I found answered prayer and I am so excited. I had been calling and looking for a place I could afford to move to. I had been so upset because I had been batting 0 on finding help from the state to help with my rent or a place I could afford.  They had told me a 2 year wait to even apply for help. Well today I went to a gov. assistance apt. for little ole ladies like me. Ha! And they have a 6 months to a year wait list And they do help with my rent, no wait for 2 years, they will help when I move in. I was excited to see the place was very nice and clean and mainly I will have my own place! I will be able to not ever feel in anyones way again. I am so thankful for answered prayer, I only wish I had more faith instead of vetting so depressed about it. Thanks for listening to me yak about the good days!

I’m trying

I haven’t posted in awhile because I wanted some good news to post. But since things aren’t going to change for me for at least another year, I just needed to talk. It seems that there is no help for me to be able to move out. I still owe another year on my car and I won’t be able to claim my ex’s social security for another year. I prayed about my situation and told God I would not get worried about my situation here that I would lean on him. It seems as though I have something to learn here as it seems that my daughter-in-law is allowing me to stay it seems. I know she likes the work I do here for her, so it seems I need to humble myself a little more before her. I am not worried I’m just so sad this is how my life is ending. I worked so hard all my life and because of a man who chose to cheat me out of everything I worked for, I have nothing to show for it. I’m sad because I am so naïve about people and their deceitfulness. I’m very sad that I have to live here and see the mistreatment of my grandson and not be able to say a word. It breaks my heart to know he is still in trouble from not doing some work at school last week. He has done all of it and has caught up, but for the last 3 days he has to go up to his room and sit on his bed. He is allowed to eat dinner,  then take a bath and go to bed. That is all go to school sit on his bed then go to bed. It wouldn’t be so hard to take if it happened to the other two children, but the middle child has always been treated treated so much harder. And I won’t get in to the Rheumatologist until October 11th which has been so hard doing the work here with my foot so painful. I’m just so tired of of feeling hopeless on so many fronts at one time.  I do know things always look bleakest before the dawn. So Dear Lord bring on my mourning.

Mass Shooting

A mass shooting occurred this morning here in Houston. Six people were shot and 3 more injured by flying glass. This happened at 6:30 this morning as people were going to work. Please pray for those injured and our Country. It seems we are having mass shootings somewhere almost every week. God Bless America, and America  love the Lord.

Preaching from a Hammock

A Precious Soul

Amy's Muddled Musings

rimrock-09-25-16This morning, I got to see my pastor preach from a hammock.

He swung back and forth, rocked by the fall breeze, sipping apple cider.

Or at least, his soul did.

Red and yellow leaves fluttered and danced around his soul, which was at rest.

His soul was in a hammock, while his weak and pain-filled body, ravaged from cancer, sat supported on a goldenrod chair in front of a microphone and a room full of people of  varied emotions.

Agothos, ἀγαθός, ή, όν, he says.

“God is agothos.” He says, with a weak voice, during what is likely his last sermon.

“God is good. He is good in nature.”

His voice, frail and fragile, deliver words of deep rest that thunder in the room.

“God’s character is 100% good.  He takes evil and arranges it for good.”

Last week, he visited hospice.

This week, my eyes are fixed on a man…

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