It’s been too long

It has been too long since I last posted, but a lot has happened. I have been recovering since! I had posted so happy that I had applied to an apartment I could move to in 6-12 months. I had not told my son yet because I thought that is what he wanted when he said I needed to move sooner than later. I thought I was doing what he wanted and I had plenty of time to tell him. Well, 2 weeks after application they called my son not me that they had an opening!!! The shit hit the fan, he was furious I was doing this behind his back. Of course I couldn’t afford to move until I finished paying off my car and get more from Social Security. But he is saying if you don’t want to be here get out now a d I never want to see you again. I’m in shock saying but you told me to leave sooner than later and that is what I was doing! He would not listen and was saying so many hurtful things to me and as I cried he was he was just so cold to me. I felt so alone and distraught and so depressed that this is what my life had become. Finally he said what he told me was if I ever questioned how they disciplined their kids I would have to leave sooner rather than later. I thought What? That wasn’t the way it went but I just wanted his anger to stop, I begged to stay in his life and he told me I would have to call and cancel the apartment. Which I did the next day and was sad to be canceling instead of telling them I needed to wait 6 months to move in. I feel if I move I’ll lose my son, he already has done that to my other son, his brother. I think now they want me here to clean, wash and keep my grandchildren, but they want me to feel the unease of walking on egg shells and I have and still get in trouble. As far as the grandson I defended that day, she has not gotten that enraged with him since, I’m so thankful for that. And he has not gotten in trouble since he was finally put on new meds. I wish they would have thought about that before 2 months of trauma he went through. I am Thankful things have gotten better here lately and I’m not as depressed and life has settled back down around here. Thanks for letting me get all these feelings out that have been held in so long. It’s going to get better!!!!

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8 thoughts on “It’s been too long

  1. Is you son using you for babysitting and other duties? You don’t owe that to him. My daughter sent me off with a hateful barrage of crap but I had my own house.
    You are NOT his subordinate. You are NOT his peer. You are NOT his child. You are his mama. I would demand that he treat me with respect or else. Don’t let him threaten you. I don’t understand how cruel children can be sometimes…but I have seen it up close and personal. You have too.
    Sending hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Avaswan,
    I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Have a look at the comments you got on September 19th. Someone wrote about the importance for you to move as you were in a place with unhealthy relationships. I think it is now even more obvious that your living arrangements are not healthy for you. Regardless of whether your son’s response was based on miscommunication and a lack of understanding, his reaction is abusive and your behaviour afterwards shows me that your choices are made out of fear. I cannot tell you what to do, but I encourage you to talk to someone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Elizabeth, but I can’t move financially. I am only getting 850 a month in disability. And have a car note right now, it is almost paid for next summer. I know it is abuse and unhealthy, but no choice. It helps to blog it out of my system.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If I didn’t do all the work my daughter-in-law would not have me here. With my physical disabilities it is very rough, another reason I was looking forward to leaving. But ever since my son married her he has changed in the 20 years a lot. She never liked me, and they hardly ever came to see me. It is all about being an in-law. Her mom did her husband the same way until he died. No one is as good to be around but her family. Yet I’m expected to go to her moms every holiday and feel like an outcast. My son never seems to notice. He has not showed me much love for 20 years now and would many times go years without contact. It has broken my heart I thought coming here would bring us closer, but it has not happened. Thank you for your hugs, I know you understand.

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  4. Oh. My heart goes out to you. You seem to just want the best for your grandkids. Its so hard to take care of ourselves first. I appreciate your situation financially. I am so glad you at least let it out here. As best you can set some boundaries to take care of you too!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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