It has been too long since I last posted, but a lot has happened. I have been recovering since! I had posted so happy that I had applied to an apartment I could move to in 6-12 months. I had not told my son yet because I thought that is what he wanted when he said I needed to move sooner than later. I thought I was doing what he wanted and I had plenty of time to tell him. Well, 2 weeks after application they called my son not me that they had an opening!!! The shit hit the fan, he was furious I was doing this behind his back. Of course I couldn’t afford to move until I finished paying off my car and get more from Social Security. But he is saying if you don’t want to be here get out now a d I never want to see you again. I’m in shock saying but you told me to leave sooner than later and that is what I was doing! He would not listen and was saying so many hurtful things to me and as I cried he was he was just so cold to me. I felt so alone and distraught and so depressed that this is what my life had become. Finally he said what he told me was if I ever questioned how they disciplined their kids I would have to leave sooner rather than later. I thought What? That wasn’t the way it went but I just wanted his anger to stop, I begged to stay in his life and he told me I would have to call and cancel the apartment. Which I did the next day and was sad to be canceling instead of telling them I needed to wait 6 months to move in. I feel if I move I’ll lose my son, he already has done that to my other son, his brother. I think now they want me here to clean, wash and keep my grandchildren, but they want me to feel the unease of walking on egg shells and I have and still get in trouble. As far as the grandson I defended that day, she has not gotten that enraged with him since, I’m so thankful for that. And he has not gotten in trouble since he was finally put on new meds. I wish they would have thought about that before 2 months of trauma he went through. I am Thankful things have gotten better here lately and I’m not as depressed and life has settled back down around here. Thanks for letting me get all these feelings out that have been held in so long. It’s going to get better!!!!