I’m trying

I haven’t posted in awhile because I wanted some good news to post. But since things aren’t going to change for me for at least another year, I just needed to talk. It seems that there is no help for me to be able to move out. I still owe another year on my car and I won’t be able to claim my ex’s social security for another year. I prayed about my situation and told God I would not get worried about my situation here that I would lean on him. It seems as though I have something to learn here as it seems that my daughter-in-law is allowing me to stay it seems. I know she likes the work I do here for her, so it seems I need to humble myself a little more before her. I am not worried I’m just so sad this is how my life is ending. I worked so hard all my life and because of a man who chose to cheat me out of everything I worked for, I have nothing to show for it. I’m sad because I am so naïve about people and their deceitfulness. I’m very sad that I have to live here and see the mistreatment of my grandson and not be able to say a word. It breaks my heart to know he is still in trouble from not doing some work at school last week. He has done all of it and has caught up, but for the last 3 days he has to go up to his room and sit on his bed. He is allowed to eat dinner,  then take a bath and go to bed. That is all go to school sit on his bed then go to bed. It wouldn’t be so hard to take if it happened to the other two children, but the middle child has always been treated treated so much harder. And I won’t get in to the Rheumatologist until October 11th which has been so hard doing the work here with my foot so painful. I’m just so tired of of feeling hopeless on so many fronts at one time.  I do know things always look bleakest before the dawn. So Dear Lord bring on my mourning.